The Day

Today was The Day. The Day we had been waiting for for months. Ella was placed in our arms. I cannot express the amount of joy and overwhelming happiness I feel. She is ours and it could not, could not have gone better!

When I last left you, we had about 6 hours to Ella. It was just a long, long morning to wait but finally 1 PM arrived and we went to the bank to exchange our money. This should have taken a few minutes.   But there was a long line at the bank and after about 50 minutes of waiting they called our number. Once we were able to talk to a teller it truly only took 10 minutes.

Then we left to go to the provincial office. This was a new office and today was the first day they were processing adoptions from this new location. As we were sitting waiting for Ella to arrive a woman came in smiling, holding a small girl.  I only saw the back of the girl's head. I thought it might be Ella and squeezed Dave's hand. This girl looked so little, she looked closer to 2 year old. I didn't see her face so I couldn't tell.

Then a woman walked around the corner, holding Ella's hand. Ella was all decked out in orange and looked cozy in a puffy coat and puffy pants. She looked a little shell shocked. She was still walking with a haulted gate and her lovely eyes looked the same. She was shy and just wanted to hold the nanny's hand. Then with a little prompting Ella looked at us and called us "Ma Ma" and "Ba Ba." I was so surprised! Someone had coached her. Someone had shown her our photos and prepared her to be part of our family. It was more then I could have expected! Her sweet voice was so cute and small.

As we were speaking she just was holding the nanny's hand looking uncertain. I brought a doll for her and pulled it out of my bag and handed it to her. This tiny little smile started at the corners of her mouth. She took the doll and gently clung to it.

We needed to walk to another corner of the lobby and I offered her my hand to walk over. She pulled closer to the nanny, but the nanny put her hand in mine and we walked over about 10 feet and sat down, I then pulled her up on my lap and she let me.

We did not sign any paperwork the only thing we did was have our photo taken and then we returned to the hotel. We were only at the provincial office for about 15-20 min. I am so glad it worked out that way. All the running around and paperwork can be overwhelming for an adult, I am so glad it was as smooth as it was for Ella.

There was one more little girl that was also placed with her family at the office. She was younger (around 2) with a clef lip. She was also kind of shell shocked. Then when her nanny handed her to her new mom, major tears and crying. She was so unhappy. Even as we were walking out to the parking lot her cries filled the air. Poor kido, her mom was soothing her.

Once we got back to the hotel Ella sat on the bed taking it all in. I pulled out a book and we started looking at it together. Dave and Cindy were filling out some paperwork at the desk and I got to just focus on Ella. She smiled and we started looking for the moon on each page of "When you were born." It became a game and she was very excited to find it on each page and would beam with pride. She started to tug at her coat, so I unbuttoned it. Then she tugged again and I helped her take it off.

She was relaxing and smiling. She even started laughing! I thought it would be days before we got a laugh out of her. She was still calling me "Ma Ma" and Dave "Ba Ba." Of course we gave her huge smiles and that reinforced her. She is very quick and quite bright. We found out that she was in foster care for the last 2 years. This is so amazing. She was living with a family. Her foster mom was a grandma who had a grandchild the same age as Ella as they played a lot. This will be so great! She has lived in a family setting and knows what it is like to have siblings. She is so well adjusted. She could not have been any better prepared to join our family. 

When Cindy left the room she talked with Ella and told her she was sleeping here tonight with Ma Ma and Ba Ba. She smiled and it seems she was expecting it. The rest of the afternoon and evening went so well. We colored and played games (she loved dropping a coin the floor and having Dad retrieve it.) She was laughing and just enjoying our time together.

For dinner we ordered room service. She ate pretty well. She had some fried rice and french fries and seemed more interested in dipping the fries and stirring the ketchup then eating them, typical 3 year old. This was so good to see. I was wondering if there would be food issues, but she seemed very typical with her approach

As it got closer to bed time I wanted to see if she would take a bath. I started the water and she came right in to the bathroom. She put her hand in the running water and loved it. We got her all stripped down and in the tub. She was playing and "swimming" in the water. I know some times children feel very attached to their clothes, it is the only familair thing they have. So was prepared for no bath or wanting to sleep in her clothes. She was very cheerful and put on her new PJs and was only mildly curious about the footie part.

So far the day had just exceeded my expectations. She was cautious at first, but warmed up quickly. She is filled with laughter and joy. She was prepared for our meeting and her placement. She is smart and so well attached to her foster family.

As expected, when all the fun and excitement wore off, it hit her. As she was getting tucked into bed by Dad, she got nervous when she heard a loud noise (me trying to work the automatic blinds.) She immediately sat up in bed and looked scared. She started to cry a little and then it got more intense. Dave was trying to soothe her and she was asking for "my other Ba Ba."  She cried for about half an hour and called out for Ma Ma and Ba Ba between sobs. It broke my heart to see her scared and sad. The grieving process is so real and there isn't much we can do, just hold her and soothe her. They only way for her to attach to us is to allow her to grieve and help her build trust in us. After about 30 minutes she wore herself out and fell asleep.

Even though it is hard, it is a good thing. She has learned how to love and trust, she has those skills. We just need to make it to the other side together.

After meeting Ella and spending our first day together. It is clear that her medical needs are more severe then we thought. We knew this could happen and are totally open to that. Her balance, strength and dexterity all seem to be impacted.  Not just in her legs, but also her torso and hands. It was hard for her sit and balance on the bed. Or sitting on my lap to eat dinner she needed a lot of support from me, she didn't seem to have the trunk muscles to sit up straight for very long. She also has some stiff fingers. Her fine motor skills are not where an average 3 year old should be. When she focuses on using her hands (to pick up a crayon, to point to somethings. . . etc.) her hand is a little shakey. 

After interacting with Ella, it almost seems like a very mild form of cerebral palsy. I am no doctor, but I think there is more here then her initial diagnosis. I do not know if this physical limitation is based on an orthopedic problem, neurological or perhaps it this just some type of delay. We have appointments set up with some specialists next month, so I am sure we find more answers as time goes on.

All I know is that we LOVE this little girl. She has been perfectly prepared for our family. Her warmth and love are so evident, she has a zest for life and an infectious laugh. How we adore our Ella.